THEN: AMBUSH NOW: AMBUSHED

THEN:  AMBUSH

NOW:  AMBUSHED

I went perfume shopping the other day.  Okay, I’ll confess.  I wasn’t actually shopping for a scent to spray upon my hot flashing skin, but that’s where I ended up.  At the perfume counter in Bloomies, with a very nice saleslady well versed in the historical, sociological, psychological and physiological theories of perfume.

As it turns out, buying perfume is not as easy as it used to be.

My daughter knew exactly what she was looking for.  And so, like daughter, like mother, I decided I would buy the same bottle.  Why not?  I don’t have a favorite brand and my daughter does have good taste.  Not to mention expensive, but that’s another story.

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Well, if  that’s the case, then back in high school,  I along with everyone else I knew committed a huge “perfume faux pas” as we all wore the same scent: Ambush.   Which is described as a sharp, oriental, woody scent.  With a blend of lavender, jasmine, oakmoss, sandalwood and patchouli accompanied by fruity notes of fresh citrus, melons, peaches and plums.

We seemed to be just fine with this.  I was never confused as to who I was and never mistaken for someone else.  Although, it would have been nice if my crush did think I was one of the popular cheerleaders.  At least for a day or back then I would have even settled for a few hours.

But back to my current dilemma – finding a fragrance to call my own.  This entailed being ambushed with a  questionnaire the likes of those meme things that go around the Internet.  What’s my favorite smell?  Am I a fruity person?  Spicy?  Citrusy?  What scent turns me on?  What smell makes me hungry?  What kind of candle do I burn when taking a bath?  What kind of soap do I prefer?   What element am I – air, earth, fire, water?  What’s my  sign?

Honestly now.  All I wanted was a nice fragrance to mask the sweat which turns the back of my neck into a “slip and slide” and my armpits into a wading pool.

How about a vodka fragrance? I asked.  Or one with a blue cheese olive aroma?  I’d rather smell like I’d been drinking than a locker room.

In the end, I was too confused to buy anything.  And all the different smells, from coffee to chocolate to roses started to affect my thinking.

I left with a few samples.  And with the question zigzagging through my brain – If I were a scent what would it be?

What’s yours?