What My Father Built With Love

Janie Emaus and dad2

THEN:  TWO HEARTS DANCING

Always in my heart

 NOW: ALWAYS IN MY HEART

This Father’s Day will the second one without my dad.  That’s not to say that he won’t be with me.  Because he’s always in my heart.

When I was growing up, my father brought in the bacon.  All of it.  He went to work every morning at 6:00 and came home every evening around 5:30.  When he walked in the door after a hard day at the office, my mom handed him a cocktail, the newspaper and a slice of rye bread.  (Don’t ask.  I’m not sure why he wanted this, unless of course, it was a symbol of being the bread winner.) For the next half hour he would sit and relax while my mom finished making dinner and my sister and I set the table.

I guess you’d say he was a lot Jim Anderson on “Father Knows Best.”  And back then I believed he did know best.  After all, he was the man of the house.  My father.

This routine lasted for many, many years until my sister and I started high school, at which time our mom wanted to go to work.  Not so much for the money.  But how many times can you change the bedding, scrub the toilets, rearrange the pantry, or play golf in one week?

But Mom going to work wasn’t the only change that took place in our household.  Now my father’s daughters were dating.  Goodbye Jim.  Hello Archie Bunker.

My father wasn’t exactly like good old Archie, but when it came to the boys his girls were bringing home, he could be quite judgmental.  After all, he had once been a teenage boy and he knew how boys could act toward girls.  When their daughters start dating it must be a scary time for fathers.  And of course, as a teenage girl, I knew my father did NOT know what was best for me!

Some of my boy friends were definitely  “undesirables”  in my father’s eyes.  In looking back, I can’t say as I blame him.  With only two daughters, he had five son-in-laws.  So, I guess he had reason to be concerned.

Eventually I left home in order to discover who I was in life. Always with the security of knowing where to find my father.  In his workshop.

Throughout the years he was always building something.  From gigantic wall units, to roll-top desks to rocking horses.  Toward the end of life he turned to small wooden objects such as stamp holders, bagel tongs and boxes with secret openings.  Sometimes he actually made me guess what it is that he had made.

But I never had to guess how much he loved  me.  And of all the things he built, the best is the strong foundation upon I live today.

And I’ve since learned one truth:  My father really did know best.

This post is part of the GENERARTION FABULOUS blog hop all about our fathers.

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HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY

Thank you to all the veterans who have served our country. And a very special thank you to my husband.  I love him to death although he doesn’t always understand me.  See why here In The Powder Room

 

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Never Leave The House In Dirty Underwear

 

Three Generations of Moms

Three Generations of Moms

 

 

As daughters we are constantly learning from our mothers. Even if it means watching them and NOT copying their behavior. Because God forbid, we should turn out like our mothers. Right?

Fact is, most of us can’t help have some of our mother in us. It’s simply the circle of life.

I’m fortunate enough to have a mom who I had no problem imitating while growing up and at a very young eighty-eight, is still someone I greatly admire.

During my formative years she taught she many things. But three of them resonate in my brain to this very day.

1. Never go to bed angry with your husband.

In my mom’s case this was easy. My dad was a very gentle, kind man.  I rarely heard them fighting. Whatever disputes they had during the day were forgotten the minute they climbed into their double bed.  For sixty-seven years they slept, spooned together. (I know because I often peeked in.)

My husband, on the other hand,  is not one to forgive or forget.  Easily. No, he still remembers things I’ve told him before we were married. And that was thirty-four years ago. Now, I may not be angry at him, but it takes to Tango, as they say. It takes two to kiss and make up.

So, even though I have followed my mom’s advice, it didn’t always work. I never went to bed angry, but he often did.

Still, I’ve passed this bit of wisdom to my daughter.

2. If you feel pretty inside, others will see you that way.

Day after day, my mom told my dorky younger self that beauty was within me. That if I went outside with a smile and a positive attitude, the world would see me as someone beautiful.

I couldn’t be inside anyone’s head but my own.  If I thought others saw me as pretty, that is how I would feel

And you know what? She is right

3.  Never leave the house in dirty underwear.

Because you never know where life is going to take you.

If by chance, you should get in an accident taking your kids to school or grocery shopping or on your way to the doctor, and you should end up unconscious, being loaded onto a gurney and you had a stain in your panties!  My God! Nothing could compare to the mortification you would feel.

Better to wear no panties at all, than wear dirty ones.

And to this day, I’ve followed that advice.

Along with a million more things my mom has taught me.  And I hope I can learn from her for many more years to come.

 

This is a bloghop! Continue reading posts from Generation Fabulous about what they learned from their mothers by clicking on the links below.

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What goes around, comes around

If you’re in your fifties and your parents are still alive, chances are this is you.

 
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National Poetry Month

In celebration of National Poetry Month, I’m letting you in on a little secret of mine.

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xoxo
Janie

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Meet Me In The Bar

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The Hands of Time

This post is part of a Generation Fabulous Blog Hop on Aging Gracefully – What other way is there, really?

THEN:

Ponds

 

NOW:

Assorted Face Creams

 

As we approach fifty and beyond, we begin to look at ourselves differently. Whereas our hands and faces used to require one cleanser, one moisturizer and we were good to go; well, now it’s another story.

Lined up on my shelf are a variety of creams, gels, lotions, vitamins and fluids with promises to firm up, reduce puffiness, erase lines, tighten skin, wipe away wrinkles, restore elasticity, hydrate, energize, revitalize and even hypnotize my face into looking younger.

You name it: I’ve bought it. If product X doesn’t take away that wrinkle under my eye, product Y is sure to do the job.

One too many times I’ve fallen for that facial trick at the mall. You know, where the cosmetician applies the miracle cream to only one side of your face. We all know that both sides of our face are not exactly the same. In my case, one eye is a little puffier under the bottom lashes. So, of course, the salesgirl applies her aging reversal potion to my ‘better side’ so that when I look at myself in the mirror, I can definitely see a difference.

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Sometimes, the purchase isn’t spontaneous, but perfectly thought out. I’ve waited an extra week to make car repairs, so that I could buy a very expensive face repair kit. After all, my face is worth the attention. My car may get me down the road, but it’s the roadmap of my face which stares at me from the mirror.

But whether bought on the spur of the moment or after months of saving, every product makes the same claim: to stop the aging process. Sometimes they even promise much, much more. Why, with my younger skin, I’ll feel better. I’ll cook better. My kids won’t fight so much. I’ll get a raise. I’ll read faster. I won’t get indigestion. I’ll have more energy. And all of these changes will take place in within twenty days after application!

Well, I’m not positive about all these creams. Last time I checked, the Fountain of Youth, still exists only in science fiction. But I do believe in the power of positive thinking. And that age is just a state of mind.

Sure, I will always worry about how I look. But when I’m eighty, god willing, I hope that younger women look at me the way I now look at my eighty-something mother. I’d like them to notice the laugh lines around my eyes and know that my life was filled with humor. And that for every wrinkle on my hand, well, there lies a story that only I could tell.

But of course, I’ll keep on applying all these anti-aging creams to minimize the effects of sun, age, Bloody Mary brunches, coffee, lack of sleep, too much sleep, worrying, laughing. In other words, to keep the ravages of life at bay.

And I’ll keep those monthly manicures hoping to recapture the youthful look of my daughter’s hand. Going for my granddaughter’s look is impossible, so I don’t even think about going back that far.

 

Four Generations of Hands

Four Generations of Hands

But we cannot freeze time. Aging is meant to be a gracefully slow process. After all, everything frozen eventually melts, and that is not how I want my face to look.

Growing old wrinkle free is as unrealistic as being young and wise. The two just don’t go together.
Generation Fabulous

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My interior vs exterior

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